In lieu of Deena's recent arrest I thought it was appropriate to include her as a .gif here. I also feel like it reflects my laziness over the last little while regarding this blog. I've completely let all 8 of you faithful followers down. But, I have "NO SHAME!" Time to move on, what's done is done. To further celebrate my laziness I've included 3 reviews in this post... because I have "NO SHAME!" Hope y'all enjoy.
Reviewer's Note: Due to the fact I've been lazy and haven't gotten around to doing these reviews, I'm offering each movie review ONLY in an abbreviated fashion. This is of course temporary and is only being done to get caught up.
The Cabin in the Woods
The Five-Year Engagement
BRIEF REVIEW: Sometimes the trailer for a movie not only tells the entire movie, but is also far more entertaining than the film itself. Such is the case with The Five-Year Engagement. At times laugh-out-loud funny, the movie suffers from sloppy pacing while lulling the audience into a stupor of boredom. What should typically be told in an hour and a half, is instead drug out over the course of two very uneventful hours. I struggle sleeping and am probably as much of an insomniac as Christian Bale in The Machinist, however this movie actually put me to sleep. It's so uneven, that it feels at times like a really bad 'SNL' sketch that even Kristen Wiig couldn't make funny. For every funny moment and one-liner, the film has about a dozen truly stupid and lazy attempts at making us laugh. The first act is probably the only place where the film works, after that I'm not entirely sure what was supposed to happen. Of course they work through problems and finally get hitched (sorry for the spoiler, but it's a rom-com what do you expect?). Alison Brie does her best here in a supporting role and truly steals the show. Note to Hollywood: Give Brie more starring roles. In the end, I found myself crawling out of the theater wishing I'd waited for Redbox. It's really just an overlong, "okay" movie. Save your money for other Summer film fare and rent Forgetting Sarah Marshall, truly that was Segel's comedic peak.
BRIEF REVIEW: Tim Burton is one of my favorite directors. Needless to say, I was anticipating this film on that merit alone. Mix in Johnny Depp, Michelle Pfeifer, and Helena Bonham Carter and one should expect cinematic magic. Unfortunately, Burton's latest offering seems forced, uneven, aimless, and half-hearted. In deed, Burton seems bored with the material all together. The tone of the piece ranges from comic to dramatic, but does so awkwardly. I found myself wondering if I was supposed to care for the characters. The comic moments certainly are the film's strength. Depp, as always, is on his "A game," and even when muddling through sub-par dialogue and story, he carves out a memorable performance. Bonham Carter (Burton's wife and muse) is similarly great with her cynical personality and snarky sexually-laced commentary. Even still, their performances are simply not enough to keep Dark Shadows from sinking. The story lacks complexity yet still somehow manages to be confusing. Tonally speaking, Burton misses the mark--so much so that I'm still not sure if it was supposed to be comedic or dramatic or neither. The visual splendor and set design present in all of Burton's films was definitely present, however the lack of character development completely kills the film. It's been awhile since Burton has made something I've really enjoyed (Sweeney Todd). The more I like Burton, the less I like him as well. His film's seem either HIT (Ed Wood, Big Fish, Edward Scissorhands, etc.) or MISS (Mars Attacks, Planet of the Apes, etc.) and Dark Shadows is more MISS than HIT.
GRADE: C+ (only because Depp and Bonham Carter are so good)